


Not That One

by pandorasxbox



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Canon, Cat Fight, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Fíli and Kíli Brotherly Love, Gen, Happy Ending, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, True Love, they survived BoTFA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-19 00:50:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2368148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorasxbox/pseuds/pandorasxbox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili's mother plays matchmaker one too many times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not That One

**Author's Note:**

> I only own my original characters.

From the moment Fili and Kili were born, they would be reminded endlessly of who they were amongst their people. They were heirs to the throne of Erebor. With such nobility came great responsibility whether they wanted it or not, and most of the time they did not.

For most of their teen years, fair lasses were trying to capture their attention, but they were too busy learning the art of combat knowing someday they would follow their uncle to reclaim their lost kingdom under the mountain. Weapons training was amongst their priorities, but their friendship, love and loyalty to each other always came first for the brothers. 

Now that they were of age, and their ancestral mountain home of Erebor had been secured, eventually they would have to marry to produce their own heirs to continue the line of Durin. Their mother, Dís relentlessly tried to introduce certain potential proper females to them sure that one of them would win their hearts. They were always polite to the lasses, but never interested. 

“Fili, you must consider at least trying to court one of the young lasses I’ve introduced you to!” his mother pleaded again.

“Amad, I will know when I find my One.” Fili’s patience with his mother was wearing thin.

“How will you ever find your One if you won’t give any one of them a chance or go out and look for someone on your own?” she was so frustrated. “I’m sorry, but I’ve already invited someone for you to escort to the feast this evening.”

Fili just took a deep breath and exhaled shaking his head. “Amad, you cannot force me to fall in love with someone!”

Dís puffed up her chest, “This one will be your One, I’m sure of it!”

“That’s what you said about the last twenty-five, self-absorbed, gold-digging wenches you’ve chosen for me! Please enough already!” He stormed out of the room.

Kili was waiting in their room for him to return. He had to deal with his mother’s constant interference in his love affairs too, but being the youngest she wasn’t as pushy with him yet. 

“Dammit!” Fili slammed their bedroom door. “I know she’s just trying to do what she think best for me, but this has to stop!”

Kili couldn’t resist trying to calm his brother pulling him into a hug, and it worked. Fili’s tense body relaxed in his brother’s arms, and he hugged him back. “You never know, she could be right. One of these maidens she finds for you is bound to be your One eventually.”

“I’m not interested in what she thinks I want, Kili. I want to find someone on my own. When the time is right, and not someone Amad has forced upon me.” He wasn’t sure what he wanted these days. They sat together on Fili’s bed. Kili began taking out one of Fili’s braids just so he could braid it again better.

“What are you looking to find in a lass?” Kili asked out of curiosity. 

“Someone that thinks for herself, speaks her mind, not trying to impress me with her gowns, jewels or whatever else she owns. Just to be herself, you know? Not to mention how some so rudely throw themselves at me, sometimes quite literally! I want someone who truly cares about me. I’m so tired of the lasses that only care about what they can gain from just being with me.” After hearing his feelings said out loud, he put his face in his hands. “Amad just doesn’t understand me. What about you Kili? What are you wanting to find in a fair lass?” He sat up as Kili finished off the braid with the ornate bead.

Kili’s eyes lit up at the thought, “Someone I can laugh with and play pranks on that wouldn’t get angry with me!” They both laughed out loud. 

“I should have known that would be what you’d want!” Fili’s mood lightened as it always did around his baby brother.

Kili suddenly had an idea. “Change your clothes! We’re going into town!”

“What? We can’t leave, we have guests coming this evening.”

“We can be back in time for that!” Kili was bouncing with excitement. “Maybe we can bring our own dates this time and surprise them all!”

“But I apparently already have a date for tonight.” Fili whined.

"We’ll see about that!” Kili gave his brother his best cheeky grin.

Walking into the busy tavern, Kili and Fili tried not to draw attention to themselves. They chose to sit at a table near the wall, but not too secluded so they could blend in.

“What about that one?” Kili pointed out a brunette lass walking across the room.

Fili shook his head, “No, not that one. Did you see her face?”

“No, I was looking at her…” Kili’s eyes were following her across the room.

“I know you what you were looking at. Kili, this is stupid!”

“We’ve only been here a short while. Give this a chance brother!”

The barmaid came to check on them, leaning across the table to pick up Kili’s empty flagon, her breasts came very close to Fili’s face as she did so unintentionally. He straightened himself in his seat inhaling quickly.

“Sorry! I…didn’t mean to get so close.” She blushed, then smiled at them both, “Is there anything I can do for you?” Then quickly correcting herself, “I, I mean, is there anything I can get for you?”

Kili caught on quickly and grinned, “Bring me another ale please. How about you Fili? Is there anything she can do for you?” He elbowed his blonde counterpart into embarrassment.

“I uh…another ale for me too please” Fili’s face began to feel a bit warm.

“Right away lads!” she hurried to the bar to fetch their drinks.

“What was that?” Fili turned on Kili.

“What? She was practically falling into your lap! What do you think? I think’s she lovely!” Kili sighed wearing his lovesick puppy-dog look leaning an elbow on the table to hold his chin. It was his turn to play matchmaker.

“Then you ask her to go with you to the feast!” Fili huffed.

“She likes you nadad! It’s obvious! Remember, she doesn’t know who we are. I thought that mattered to you.”

“Nothing matters, I shouldn’t even be here! I already have someone to escort tonight thanks to Amad.”

The barmaid returned promptly with their drinks. “Here you are! Is there anything else I can get for you?”

Kili took her hand gently into his and winked at her, “You could tell us your name love.”

“Alyce” She smiled, but seemed wary of Kili holding her hand though she couldn’t help but keep an eye on Fili.

“Well Alyce, I’m Kili and this handsome lad is my brother, Fili. Do you have plans when you leave work this evening?” 

“I’m here until closing very late this evening, so no. I’ll just be going straight to my room.” She seemed sad about her evening plans. She slowly took her hand back to herself.

Fili realized when she said going to her room, she meant upstairs here at the tavern. “Do you live here?”

Her smile had faded and she nodded. “Aye. I don’t have much, and the owner lets me live here as part of my wages.”

“Please sit down for a moment.” Kili offered her a seat next to him.

She looked around knowing she was working and the owner wouldn’t approve if she sat down with them. “I really shouldn’t. I have other customers to tend to.”

“Please? Where is the owner?” Kili stood up looking around.

“Over there behind the bar” She pointed him out.

Kili coaxed her to follow him, “Come on. You’re going to a royal feast with us this evening!”

“What? No, please I can’t lose my job because some drunk is playing games with me!” Alyce never thought for second he was telling the truth pleading him to stop.

“I’m not drunk…and I’m serious! You’re going to have fun tonight!” He walked right up to the tavern owner with Alyce practically beating his back trying to stop him.

“My good sir! This fair lass is going to attend the royal feast in the halls of Erebor with me this evening. How much would you have paid her for working this eve?” Kili said staring the man in the eye being completely serious. 

The owner and a few patrons seated at the bar began laughing at him. “Why? Are you buying her from me lad?” 

“That is a crude way of looking at it, but I will pay you double for her wages if you allow her to take an evening off working for you here Sir.” 

“Kili!” Alyce pleaded with him, still not believing what she was hearing.

“Alright then…50 gold coins” the barkeep said smugly trying to call Kili’s bluff.

Kili reached in his pocket and threw a small bag of jingling coins on the bar in front of him.

“Fine. She’s officially off duty and will return tomorrow to her home and job. Are we square?” 

The barkeep glanced at the bag, then looked back at Kili. Slowly he opened the bag emptying the contents into his palm. “There’s more than 50 gold coins here! Where did you get this? Did you steal this from somewhere?”

Fili stood up and joined his brother, “We are Fili and Kili, sister-sons of King Thorin. Kili is offering to escort this fine young lass to our feast this evening as long as you do not hold this against her. Do you except his offer?”

Alyce was stunned looking at them both. She knew their names as everyone in the dwarven kingdoms did, but she was still unsure if they were telling the truth since she had never seen them in person before.

The barkeep didn’t care anymore at this point, he had more gold in his hand he would see in three months. “Take her! Keep her for all I care!”

Kili put his arm around her, “Let’s go then.”

Alyce dug her heels in stopping them, “Wait! You didn’t even ask me, you just bought me!”

“I’m sorry,” Kili hung his head realizing what he’d done. “That was a bit pretentious of me. My lady, would you do me the honor of allowing me to escort you to the royal feast this evening?” He raised his eyes to meet hers as his devilish grin appeared.

Shyly she smiled, “Yes. Thank you Kili, I would be honored!”

When they arrived home, Kili took her to their room with only a few guards noticing all three of them together. Once inside their room, it dawned on her, “I can’t go to the feast dressed in barmaid clothing! Everyone will think I’m one of your servants!” 

Fili looked at Kili and sighed, “Now what? Do you think we could borrow one of Amad’s dresses without her realizing it’s one of hers?”

“Maybe. I’ll see if I can find one she hasn’t worn in a long time.” Kili started out the door, “Stay here, I’ll be back as soon.” 

After Kili left, Fili awkwardly turned to Alyce. “So, you’ve never been to a royal feast before?”

“Uh, no. Never met anyone royal before.” She said not meaning to sound too sarcastic.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it.” He kicked himself for sounding so pompous.

He picked up some bead gems from one of their tables handing them to her. “Take these. These rubies will help you blend in.”

She cocked her head giving him a look, “And what do you mean by that? Blend in?”

“Uh, I only meant, you aren’t wearing any, and…” inside he cringed at his words _'She’s going to hate if I don’t shut up' _.__

She looked at the gems in her palm. They were for her hair. “I understand.”

“I could help you put them in your hair.” He offered not realizing what he suggested until she promptly corrected him.

“We are not courting. You will not braid my hair!” She was baffled at how this dwarf could be a prince, he seemed so clueless at the moment.

“Oh, I wasn’t thinking, I’m sorry! I’m just used to braiding Kili’s hair because he’s so bad at doing his own braids. I forgot my place, my lady.” Fili had to sit down. Conversing with this female was harder than he thought it would be. 

He sat on his bed. “Would you like to have a seat?” 

She started to sit in a chair across the room. She wasn’t the most beautiful lass he’d ever seen, but she was very lovely he thought. “Would you like to sit over here by me?” he offered patting the bed next to him.

“I’m sorry. Maybe you thought because you paid for me to be here gave you the right to use me any way you see fit. That is not going to happen my lord.” She tried to remain courteous. 

Fili prayed to Mahal for Kili to return quickly. He was beside himself, he surely didn’t mean what she thought he had implied. “I’m so sorry Alyce, I can’t seem to say or do anything without making an ass out of myself! Forgive me if you thought I had anything but the most respectful intentions towards you.”

The tables turned, now she felt ashamed for thinking he meant anything disrespectful of her. “I’m sorry too. It’s not every day a couple of princes invite you to their home to attend a royal feast.”

“I like how you speak your mind. Not many lasses can carry such confidence as you do.” Fili was impressed with the way she stood her ground. She wasn’t a pushover like all the other maidens he’d ever encountered. They only wanted to please him thinking that was the way they should be to win him over. 

“Thank you. Working at the tavern has made me strong. I may be a lowly barmaid, but I have respect for myself and feel I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.” She spoke with grace and confidence.

Fili showed off his dimples suppressing a huge smile, “Indeed! You are pretty special. Do not call yourself a lowly barmaid. You are so much more.”

A shy grin she flashed him. “You are honorable, and I’m sorry for doubting your intentions.”

Kili rushed into their room carrying a light pink gown covered in florals and layers of soft lace. “I haven’t seen Amad wear this in years. I do believe you will look even more beautiful in this gown than she.” He handed it to her.

Alyce took the gown running her hand over it admiring the beading and lace. “It’s quite lovely. Thank you.” The brothers just stared at her for a moment, until she noted, “Did you want me to change into it?” They continued to stand there watching her. “Because I’m not doing so in front of you no matter how much gold you might offer.”

“Oh Aye! Of course, we’ll be right out here if you need anything.” They took the hint and left the room. 

Standing outside the closed door, they spoke quietly in case anyone was around to hear them. “I hope Amad doesn’t recognize that dress. I can’t wait to see her face when she sees I’m escorting someone on my own!” Kili was almost giddy. 

“I’m happy for you nadadith. I, unfortunately, must endure another evening with one of Amad’s chosen ones.” Fili sighed.

“Come on Fee, we’re going to have fun tonight I can feel it!” Kili was acting like he just ate a bowl of sugar.

“I get it, you’re excited about Alyce! Please don’t forget me out there tonight, okay?” Fili always depended on Kili to drag him away when he gave him a signal to save him from his misery.

Alyce called to them, “I’m ready if you want to come back in now.”

They almost broke down the door trying to get back in to see her. As soon as the door shut behind them, they froze staring at her. Kili smiled and let a whoop, “Mahal! I wouldn’t have recognized you my lady! Doesn’t she look pretty Fili?”

Fili stuttered a little, “Uh, Alyce you look, yes. Nice.”

Alyce wasn’t sure what to make of either of their comments. “I guess I’ll take those comments as compliments. Thanks.” She went to the mirror and continued to work on fixing her hair some more trying to add the rubies Fili gave her. They were not like all the fine jewels most dwarrow maidens wore in their hair, but she did her best to look the part of a noble.

There was a knock on their door, “Prince Fili, you’re mother has asked for you to join them in the main hall. Prince Kili, she also asked that you come with Fili please.”

Fili didn’t want the servant to see them bringing Alyce out of their room, “Please go on, we only need a moment and we’ll be right there.”

“As you wish my lord.” the servant left without further questioning.

The three of them hurried down the corridor to the main grand hall. Kili and Alyce snuck around a group of people to make it look like they just arrived together while Fili made his way directly to his mother.

“Ah, there you are! Fili, I’d like to introduce you to Lady Mya. Mya, this is my son, Prince Fili,” Dís spoke confidently believing she really had found his One.

Fili bowed to Mya kissing her hand politely, then offering his arm to her, “Shall we?” They walked on to be seated in the large banquet hall.

Kili escorted Alyce to meet his mother with pride. “Amad! I’d like to introduce my lovely lady to you. This is Lady Alyce. Alyce, this is my mother, Lady Dís sister of King Thorin.”

Alyce curtsied very low, “It is an honor my lady.” 

Dís took a deep breath looking the young lass up and down. Something wasn’t quite right, and knowing Kili, something wasn’t quite right. “Indeed. Kili, may I have a word with you in private please?”

“Excuse me for a moment Alyce. I’ll be right back.” Kili patted her hand and left with his mother to a quiet corner of the room.

“Amad…”

“Kili, where did you find that lass?”

“Why? Why does that matter? Isn’t she lovely? She’s so polite and well-mannered.” he gushed over Alyce trying to woo his mother into approving of her.

“Kili?”

“I thought you’d be overjoyed that I actually brought someone this time so you wouldn’t have to fix me up with someone like you do to Fili all the time!” 

“I do what’s best for my sons!” Dís defended herself.

“You think you do! Excuse me, I don’t want to keep Alyce waiting.” He turned away from his mother to escort Alyce to the banquet hall.

Alyce was seated in between Kili and Fili. She felt at ease being next to both of them since she’d never been to such a fancy formal feast before. They showed her which forks and spoons to use and all the proper dining etiquette she never knew. Dwarves for the most part weren’t so proper at the dining table, however when brought together for special occasions the nobles and royals minded their manners best they could. 

Fili had already noticed, Mya was beginning to act like all the other maidens his mother had wrangled for him. “Fili, don’t you just adore my new necklace hmm? I just love sapphires, don’t you?” She leaned toward him pulled her hair back exposing her neck and large breasts spilling from her corset while her other hand rest high on Fili’s thigh.

“The sapphires are lovely, dear.” Trying not to look all but for a second, he turned his head from her making mental notes _‘Here we go again. Showing off her assets.’ ___

Alyce watched in disgust over the Mya’s forwardness. She forgot for the moment she was pretending to be a noble when she stated, “I think too many gems are gaudy and shouldn’t be shown off in such a manner. It’s not becoming of a lady.”

Fili almost choked on the ale he just took a drink of and snickered as Mya shot Alyce a scornful look. “Really? Maybe that’s because you don’t have anything to show-off my dear!” 

“Real ladies wouldn’t allow their gems to be shown off quite so brazenly my dear!”

Kili contained his laughter well until he looked at Fili who also couldn’t hold back anymore. They both burst into laughter, and most of the guests had now taken notice something was happening between the young couples. 

“What are you trying to say about me?” Mya stood up taunting Alyce to continue.

“You know exactly what I mean.” Alyce growled standing up ready for a fight.

“Fili! Do you hear how this wench is speaking to me?” She whacked him with her napkin as the tone of voice continued to rise. “What does anything I do matter to you anyway, hmm?” Mya challenged Alyce.

“You can’t keep your hands to yourself, you’ve been forwardly flirting with him all evening! Fili deserves better than a whore like you!” Alyce stood silent for a moment realizing not only what she just said, but that everyone in the room clearly heard what she said.

Mya lunged across Fili to grab Alyce by the hair, in which Alyce grabbed Mya’s hair as well. The two maidens began pulling hair and smacking at each other with Fili caught in between. Kili stopped laughing long enough to grab Alyce around the waist to pull her back as Fili was able to stand up pushing Mya away from Alyce.

From the far end of the long banquet table, Thorin shot a disgruntled look at his sister as if telling her to do something with her sons. Dís furiously bolted up from her chair, “That’s enough! Kili! Fili! Come with me and bring them with you this instant!”

They complied with their mother’s wishes meeting her in a side room away from all their guests. She was beside herself with anger for the display everyone was forced to witness.

“What is the meaning of this?” She snapped.

Kili was still laughing about the whole thing, “Amad, calm down it’s alright! 

“It is not funny and it is not alright Kili! I want to know where you found this…this…” Dís stammered looking for a word to call Alyce without being too offensive.

Fili spoke up, “Her name is Alyce. She’s a fine lass, and you do not need to be rude to her Amad!”

Mya began to whine like a spoiled child, “My Lady! She insulted me in front of Fili and everyone!” 

“Fili, I’m ashamed of you! You should have defended Mya against this peasant!”

That was the last straw. Fili’s eyes narrowed, he’d had enough of his mother. “Amad! You have no right to call Alyce names! And I will not apologize to Mya! She is not my One, nor could ever be because she’s just like all the others! She’s a self-centered little tart!” Then he spewed a few choice words in Khuzdul to quiet everyone.

Alyce didn’t want for any of this to happen and she was afraid the royal family would banish her from ever seeing Kili and Fili again. “I’m sorry for the disruption, My Lady. Truly I am, but I will not apologize to Mya. I meant everything I said to her. I may not have much to claim in this world, but my word is my honor.”

Kili looked at Fili as the corner of his lips turned up in a sheepish grin. He nodded knowingly at his brother. Fili stepped up to Alyce. “I believe I’ve found my One. That is, if she feels the same way about me?”

Alyce gasped searching Fili’s blue eyes, “Me? Do you know what you’re saying?”

“Aye. I have forever believed I would know when I found my One. I was right. There is something very special about you…âzyungel.” He knew in his heart the fire she possessed and truth in her word was what he had waited so long to find. She was meant to be his forever. He cupped her face to kiss her once then asked, “Do you feel the same?”

Alyce didn’t hesitate to answer, “Aye! The first time I looked into your eyes at the tavern, I knew there was something special about you…âzyungel!”

Mya’s mouth dropped open and sputtered, “T-Tavern?! Eghh!”

After Fili gave Alyce a tight hug, he declared, “Alyce is my One!” Then he turned and pointed at Mya shaking his head, “Not that one!”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it!


End file.
